Smooth Criminal
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: Clean hands are happy hands!


Sanji was hopeless against Kalifa, being a woman. He didn't have will or the heart to hit her. This only made the situation more drastic when his crewmate Robin was moving farther and farther away from him. But as much as he tried, he couldn't hit the Cipher Pol 9 member.

"What a shame," Kalifa said to him. "You can't hit a woman, the same woman who holds the key to your crewmate's freedom." She adjusted her glasses. "Literally."

"Shut up," Sanji said. "I'm not gonna let you get the best of me." He began to go for a kick when Kalifa flinched. He immediately stopped. "He doesn't have it in him," She thought. "I'm going to have fun with him." She walked to him, fastening his tie while yanking him towards her.

"I'm going to polish you up. " She said to Sanji, wrapping her arms around his torso and legs, caressing them with her hands. Her hands were covered with suds.

"So dirty," She said, smiling. "So messy, look at how much I'm getting off your legs alone." Sanji's legs were being polished to the point where they were glazed and misshapen from their original form. "Next, I'll clean your arms…" She put him downward and began to rub her hands all over his chest. "Why is my strength being sapped?" Sanji thought. He looked at her from above, her chest in front of his eyes. His nose flared.

"Oh my, she's quite endowed!" He flashed a goofy smile. Kalifa noticed. "That's sexual harassment!" She said angrily. While saying this, there was a subtle jiggle her breasts gave. To Sanji, the movement was anything but. A heart in his eye and a trail of nose blood followed. Kalifa looked and saw his member bulging from his pants.

"You filthy criminal!" She yelled. "I'll make sure to clean you nice and smoothly!" She grabbed his penis and began to give it a squeeze and twist. Sanji's heart stopped.

"Her hands…" It began to twitch and throb. "Such warmth you have," Kalifa said. "Too bad for you." She began to rub it with her suds. However a minute in they became brownish.

"Such a filthy man!" She thought. "Does his perversity know no bounds?" Sanji was smiling throughout. "Don't stop, mademoiselle." He said weakly. A flash went in Kalifa's eye. "Tekkai – Death Grip!" She forcibly grabbed Sanji's member with sheer force, crushing his shaft. Sanji's body jumped in pain. Kalifa gave a smile and continued to do so.

"This has to be hurting him," She thought. "His spasms are beyond belief." Sanji's mouth gaped, as if trying to say something.

"S…S…S…S"

"..S?"

"….Sooooooo Gooooood!" He yelled. "It's so painful, but she's so beautiful!" She twisted and turned his penis around, up and down and even attempted a pretzel knot. But it was no good. He loved every minute of the torture.

"It hurts so much," Sanji thought. "But it's so soft and smooth!" "How is he enjoying this?!" Kalifa thought. "I can't believe it! And my suds are so dirty now! What is the meaning of this?!" Kalifa finally had enough and tried one final tactic. "You must be enjoying what I'm doing to you, you sad little man," She told him. Sanji only gazed at her with his lovestruck face. She moved in closer to his penis.

"Shigan – Cork!" She shot her finger into Sanji's dickhole, causing extreme pain. So extreme, he began to cough up blood. She twisted it around inside, forcing it open. With her other hand, she held the penis to the base and gripped it tightly.

"If you ejaculate, you're going to be in a lot of trouble." She said. However unknown to her, Sanji could see her laced panties, which subtly showed her vagina. But again, to Sanji's eyes subtlety was anything but.

"Beef curtains!" He thought, heart pound excessively. "To cook beef properly, you have to make sure it's not cooked too quickly but not too slowly, either. Make sure each side gets broiled evenly and finally when it's done, let it sit for around three to five minutes, depending on the cut. Finally, once the meat is done sitting, cut it open and watch the flavor spill out." Just as the woman in his fantasy took a bite of the ribeye, suddenly…

"EARRRRRRRRRGH" Sanji finally climaxed, while being blocked. "Did I not tell you about the consequences, you foolish man?" She asked, smiling. "In any case, you're no match for me now. She pulled her finger out of Sanji's penis and went for his face.

"Almost finished." She moved in towards his face, her chest zeroing in as well. From behind, a white geyser shot upwards. It drenched Kalifa completely. She looked at the seafaring chef with a sleazy, content look on his face. She grew fierce.

"I'll clean you with your own filth!" She took the brown suds and washed them all over his face.


End file.
